Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Unusual Chase Vehicles

Today we'll consider some exciting new options to "Pimp your Chase Vehicle" which should really excite your crew. So here's the top ten list:

10. The Short Bus goes anywhere and carries everyone from a 210. No worries about a little mud or snow. Designed for winter balloon retrieves in Antarctica. Really.

[click photos to zoom]

9. This full-tracked chase vehicle zips through water 4 feet deep. If your pilot has a little trouble landing on islands or in swamps this could be just the ticket. Not good enough? Get the full amphibious option and she'll float.

8. And now for something purple. If you're from Ohio, have a sunny disposition and are, well, quite shapely, this has your name all over it.

Recommended accessory: Tommy Lift, in purple.

7. The Jetson's will be jealous when you pull up to the launch field in this futuristic chase commander. Streamlined, powerful, fuel cell powered. The good news is no more calls to the authorities reporting a "balloon crash" as all the lines are jammed with reports of UFOs & an alien invasion.

Bonus: the bug eyes let the crew see in every direction including up.

6. On a budget? This classic Iranian interpretation of an ancient Citroen has high miles and is well broken in. Mechanical skills and metric tools a plus, but no need to worry about scraping the paint. Buyer pays shipping from Iran.

5. If you're crew is always horsing around while your flying instead of tracking the balloon, and then has to gallop off to the landing site, this fuel efficient chase vehicle should help them jockeying for position with the other crews.

A crowd favorite at balloon festivals.

4. Per Lindstrand could have used one of these balloon-tired, all wheel drive, insulated trucks after flying the Pacific. They're like an articulated bus, with passengers riding in the box and bouncing around. Reports are that the box is quite cozy, the windows small and easily fogged so you never see out. Snowy tundra no obstacle.

Those riding in the back may want to consider bringing dramamine, as many get seasick. There are sick bags in the box for such occasions.

3. You can't beat a name like Ivan the Terra Bus. Huge wheels, unlimited crew carrying capacity, go anywhere capability, and a ride smoother than your landings. If you fly special shape balloons, this is your rig.

A minor quibble: fuel efficiency is not Ivan's middle name.

2. Real men have always preferred Pickups. Best invention since the quarter horse and hot air balloon, pick up trucks carry any load and look good doing it. Traditionally they went almost anywhere. These clever tracks mean there's no more almost.

Best of all, it's easy to convert your current ride.

1. In the age of OPEC and pricey gas, the chase vehicle of the future is all about fuel efficiency without sacrificing go-anywhere flexibility. This self-refueling recovery vehicle is not easily cowed by any sheikh, and that's no bull.

Bonus: never get yelled at by the crew for leaving the tank on E, she'll refuel on the field while you inflate.

Ok, you're sold on one of these sexy new chase vehicles. Where can you get one? Talk to Barry DiLibero who's done a lot stranger things with paint.

Honorable Mention:
Ok, now the crew won't be seen in public with you anymore, time to get a steam powered bicycle. Strap it to the outside of the basket, fire it up from the burner after landing, and you're on your way home.


At 10:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can vouch for the comments provided for pictures #2, #3, and #4. I've ridden in the front and back of vehicle in #4, live in the building on the right in the background of #3 and work in the blue-grey building - second from right - in picture #2. Pictures #3 & #4 are at McMurdo station Antarctica. Picture #2 is Williams Field Antarctica - location of the Columbiua Scientific Balloon Facility launch complex.

At 6:24 PM, Anonymous Barry D said...

Unfortunately, things for the dealership are NOT going as planned.

# 10 has been monopolized by Denny Fleck.

#9 Only wants dealerships in Maine, New Hampshire, the Upper Penninsula of Michigan, Northern Minnesota and
Alaska, where it can be utilized on a regular basis.

#8 is not getting much appeal due to seating capacity but is a favorite at hippie communes in Oregon.

#7 So far, NASA still has yet to release all the technology available on that baby. They feel it may allow an unfair advantage at Balloon Competitions if they provide the key to the Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator. Great vehicle for the Space Shuttle, though.

#6 This one has been a big problem. ICE, formerly Customs is going on and on about things coming in from
Iran. Blah, Blah, Blah.

#5 This one is getting favorable interest due to the camouflage when retrieving the rig from horse farms in PA and NJ. I am working on the sales pitch about the extra seating capacity. Big problem? It is big on
horses, small on horsepower.

#4 Everybody keeps whining, "You need a CDL License". Oh shut up! In the winter months, go out on the road trucking propane with that license. You ain't giving
balloon rides!!!

#3 Having a little problem with this one. Apparently alot of tribute bands to the Partridge Family are
popping up in Russia right now and they are snapping these babies up faster than production. "C'mon, Get

#2 Gets alot of inquiries for the kits. But every customer has to ask about track life and top speed. Look everybody, YOU CAN'T HAVE EVERYTHING!!!

#1 This one has the greatest potential because it is also an on-board gas generator. Problem has been capturing it because to processor work in spurts, delivering an spontaneous plume, instead of steady flow. The bugs can probably be worked out here at our facility. We see it as being a big seller when propane hits $4/gallon. In fact, we have copyrighted the name..."Bio-Propane".

Honorable Mention: I think that one is requirement if you fly in Vermont. But the guy's dress code is wrong as he is supposed to be wearing sandals. Correct me if I am wrong.

Thanks for the link to our cars. I see that Teri is deficient in getting 2 of our vehicles up. I know that she was working on that about a month ago and I just ass-u-me-d it was up.

OK, back to working out the dealership bugs, here at Honest Barry's Hardily Used Chase Vehicle Emporium.

Barry D

At 8:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, Anonymous! Why sign as "Anonymous"?

Been there; Done that; got dozens of t-shirts and patches to prove it.

Bob Redinger, former of the CSBF


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